The BBC Radio 4 listener is an curious beast, and I count myself among them, you only have to listen to a snippet of Feedback in order to learn this. But they’ve got nothing on the die-hard Archers fan (I, uh, count myself among them) and one of them, Paul Trueman, has taken his fandom to the next level and created something quite wonderful.
It is a Just Giving site raising funds to rescue Helen Titchener (nee Archer) from her abusive husband Rob. The proceeds go to one of our favourite charities, Refuge. On the site Paul says: “Because Kirsty can’t do this on her own, people. If over the last year or two you’ve sworn at the radio, tweeted in outrage, taken the name ‘Robert’ in vain, or posted your disgust at the worsening situation in Blossom Hill Cottage, then now’s your chance to do something constructive about it.”
Perhaps you think this is a frivolous response, in spite of the money going to a worthy cause. Is Paul Trueman insensitive? Not if he’s got us talking, and talking practically, about domestic abuse.
Just look at how much is required to save one white, educated, middle class, employed (ish) woman who comes from a loving family! Helen needs a taxi because she’s been banned from driving whilst pregnant and Rob would recognise her car, clothing (for we must all be saved from second hand mauve maternity dresses), a place for her and her son to stay, a mobile that Rob doesn’t have access to, a bank account after Rob insisted on a joint account for him to drain. I stop here only because I insist on a word limit for the other writers and there can’t be a different rule for me.
But the Just Giving page and Archers storyline hasn’t just got us discussing the physical things Helen might need for a quick and successful get away. It has introduced many people to the many forms abuse can take. When we say ‘domestic abuse’ what springs to mind is a man hitting a woman. Whilst this is of course abuse it means we ignore the other forms it can take, such as coercive control.
Rob is abusing Helen mentally, triggering her anorexia with comments he makes publicly regarding how much she has ‘bloomed’ in pregnancy and (it seems) hiding items and fiddling orders. He is abusing her financially – insisting that they have a joint bank account and restricting her work hours. He has isolated her from friends, by disapproving of Adam’s philandering ways (conveniently forgetting he and Helen had an affair) and sexuality, snobbishly dismissing Emma Grundy and despising Helen’s only hope Kirsty. He’s also severely restricted her freedom by forbidding her from driving – apparently for her own safety. The chilling manner in which Helen conceived is clearly a case of the rarely discussed reproductive coercion.
And the genius of it all is that we, the audience, are not the sole witness! Helen’s family and friends are all witness to these comments, these financial tweaks, these imposed rules. This is not abuse that takes place behind closed doors, and herein lies the problem. How can Helen recognise this as abuse if nobody else does?
You can donate to save the Helen Titcheners out there by clicking here.
