Every so often, I will wander downstairs to find my Dad taking a selfie. A really long selfie. Maybe it’s a video, I wonder. He holds the tablet aloft, at the perfect angle to get hundreds of likes on Instagram. He keeps looking at the screen intently for several minutes. How vain can a man get?
Oh, wait. He’s not taking a selfie or video at all. He’s using the reflection off the screen to see what’s going on outside the window. Not a narcissist, just nosy. My mistake.
I’m glad that my parents have become relatively tech-savvy when it comes to portable devices. In fact, you can barely pull them away from the screen. They rarely ask for my help with tablets, whereas with the laptop they hardly dare move the mouse.
Using said devices as surveillance equipment may be a step too far. It makes the parents look more suspicious than the people they’re suspiciously observing. We’re already known as the house with both ‘the grumpy old bloke’ and ‘far too many Christmas lights for a semi-detached’. If the neighbours find out that they’re being watched periscope-style with a tablet, all hell might break loose.
When I was little, the idea of being a secret agent was really exciting. Now, it feels sort of uncomfortable. I’m not all that interested in what next door is having for lunch. And what if they’re spying on me? I may never shower again…
The next time you see someone struggling to take a selfie, remember that they might just be watching you. So don’t forget to smile!
