After some friends of mine performed in Glastonbury 2013, I added it to my list of ‘things to do before I die’. But Glastonbury is the biggest and most prestigious of all UK music festivals, did I really stand a chance? Could the line up really be Metallica, Dolly Parton and… me, a 43 year old mother of two? If so, they’d be on the Pyramid Stage and I’d be in the first aid tent.
Resigning myself to the fact that it would probably come to nothing, I sent off an email with a couple of YouTube links asking if I might join their line up for Glastonbury 2014. Rather gobsmackingly they got back to me within a couple of hours and invited me to perform in their Cabaret Tent. My contact, a Mr Haggis McLeod (what else?!) also offered me decent money, a plus one, a pitch for my tent/camper van and a grand piano to perform on! Just goes to show that it's always worth asking.
So then the dilemma began, tent or mobile home? The mobile home would cost me my entire fee… but could I really cope with the rain and the mud? The answer was no, I would make no money but have my own shower and toilet. It did of course rain all weekend and as you could smell the ‘long drop’ toilets from 50 yards away, it was definitely the right decision.
Shortly before the off the line up was announced – I would be performing on same stage as many fantastic comedians I have admired for years. Josh Widdicombe, Marcus Brigstocke, Shappi Khorsandi, Jeremy Hardy, Mark Steel, Phill Jupitus and Mitch Benn. Arthur Smith would be compering for me!
With a certain amount of nerves in my belly I loaded up my mobile home and began the long journey down the A303. Seven hours later I was sound checking in the Cabaret Tent, and this was no 40 seater. At full capacity it could hold 2,500 people! Thankfully my audiences were never quite that big, particularly for my Sunday performance when I was up against Dolly Parton! But the comedy fans were loyal and we had a decent turnout, even if most of them were stoned, asleep or had perhaps just slipped into a drug induced coma. On Saturday, doing my midnight slot, there were almost 1500 people in the tent, my biggest audience ever. And I needn’t have been nervous. The feel good factor at Glastonbury means that booing and heckling just does not happen.
Driving home on the Monday I had already started feeling wistful and nostalgic about it. Glastonbury is a bubble filled with creativity and good will, where anything goes and love is all around. Sadly my life has now slipped back into a blur of making packed lunches, breaking up fights and doing maths homework. But for a little while there it was rather exceptional.
Pictured: Vicky at Glastonbury, the Cabaret Tent, obligatory mud shot
