For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a very tactile person. If I’m meeting up with someone I know, I’ll always greet them with open arms. Coming from a family of near-religious huggers, I think nothing of launching myself at my friends like some sort of welcoming flying squirrel. For me to open with a handshake is uncharacteristically reserved, left solely to job interviews and for when the other person’s face has ‘no touchy’ written all over it.
It’s only more recently that I’ve discovered my more touchy-feely approach to my friendships might be making other people a bit uncomfortable. It seems not everyone has the same tolerance level for physical contact or such a debilitating addiction to oxytocin as I do.
On the face of it, I shouldn’t really care. It’s just a hug. If I’d developed a reputation for sidling up to people and slipping some laxatives into their cup of tea, then maybe they should be concerned about how close I am to their arm. But the difference in openness sometimes really bothers me, and in a few cases it’s got me in trouble where there really shouldn’t have been a problem at all.
From my perspective, who wouldn’t like hugs? Well, from the perspective of the woman who sharply ordered me to “stop talking to [her] husband”, when I hug one of my male friends I may as well be doing so while completely naked. Hugs are evil and should be kept for marriage. I am such a threat to husbands and boyfriends that one brief embrace is all it takes for me to completely seduce them all into my wicked clutches.
That’s preposterous, of course. I luckily have a lot of sensible and lovely female friends who are only jealous of their partners because THEY would like to give me a hug instead. And then I get two hugs, which is delightful.
There have also been a few stories in the news about ‘cuddle cafes’ and their relative morality, and I don’t see what all the fuss is about. The Snuggle House in Wisconsin was closed down after just three weeks, because the local police thought it was a front for prostitution. How stupid. I’d work there.
I should be one of those people who stands in a shopping centre with a ‘free hugs’ sign. If you ever see a short, glasses-wearing woman bearing one of these signs and a huge grin, make sure to come over and say hi! I don’t bite, but I do snuggle.
Pictured: Meryl Streep is not a hugger
