Comedian and improviser Rachel Parris has written a book based on all the advice she has gathered from her audience on post-it notes during her tours. These hastily scribbled words of wisdom range from never passing up an opportunity to wee to smiling more. Which, eurgh, you just know a man wrote. Each piece of advice provides a jumping-off point for Parris to share her own advice and tell anecdotes from her life as a diligent school girl, a femme fatale on choir tour, and comedian.
Advice From Strangers was, like so many of the books being published currently, written during all the recent lockdowns. It is quite strange to read about such a recent event that was shared by us all, described by someone you don’t know. An event unlike anything else we’ve ever experienced, that managed to seep into everything that occurred during 2020 and 2021.
The book, and therefore this review briefly covers the subject of baby loss. If you wish to avoid reading about this subject please scroll down to the line of asterisks.
Like many of us, Parris and her husband lost their regular income overnight in the lockdown. However, the couple also experienced pregnancy in the pandemic, during which pregnant people had to go alone to hospital appointments and, in this case, suffer a late miscarriage alone. Parris writes about her solo hospital stay, how the kind NHS staff finally allowed her husband to join her, and the raw sense of loss beautifully. It’s a subject people shy away from, even though it is not uncommon and I hope this chapter of the book will provide comfort for anybody living through a similar ordeal. You’re not alone.
****
If you’re reading this book for a how-to on how to get into improvisation (specifically Regency) or comedy, you may find yourself unsatisfied. It is very clear Parris has worked hard all her life, but beyond that, there is not much ‘how-to’ here. However, there’s plenty of insight into a white woman’s life in comedy and the public eye. Particularly when Parris discusses a monologue she did on The Mash Report, in which Piers Morgan was depicted as… being especially fond of Donald Trump.
The clip proved instantly popular and went viral, however, it also brought out the trolls, and Parris was inundated with misogynistic threats. What’s interesting about this incident is that, as Parris pointed out, she had not written this script, even though she is a comedian. She was employed as an actor who had delivered words written for her to say as a character who also happened to be called Rachel Parris. Yet she became a figurehead for a sentiment that actually could have been attributed to someone in The Mash Report writers room.
It’s a lot to deal with and leads Parris on to her experience of anxiety and depression, a breakdown as she describes it. Parris’s breakdown followed on from a happy event, unfortunately, the chemicals in your brain rarely behave. Parris captures the numbness to love that depression can trigger with deftness.
Parris appears to have a strong sense of self-awareness, considering this is a memoir about her, the existence and difference of experience for other people seems ever far from her mind. Parris notes that some situations that happened to her may be specific to her as a white, cis-woman and how her place in society constantly influences both her perception and other’s perception of her. Often feminist script can, hm, let’s say make sweeping statements about what it is to be a woman, even though there are countless iterations of womanhood. Parris manages with a lightness of touch to explain any possibly questionable language choices regarding mental health and acknowledge class, colour, sexuality, and gender experiences may and do differ.
I have a confession to make, I thought this book was going to be a hastily cobbled-together collection of audience comments accompanied by quick annotations by Parris. Yes, I actually judged a book by its cover. More fool me. It is funny, sad, joyful, and wise, something everyone should have on their bookshelf, perhaps with some post-it notes marking out passages of particular interest. .
Rachel Parris Advice from Strangers is published by Hodder Studio and available in all good bookshops now.
