What news events caught the eye of The Tomboy Tirade crew? Hosts of Asia’s biggest and only all-female comedy chat podcast, Persis and Raven from the Tomboy Tarts give their ten prickly picks for the month of March 2017.
PRICKLY PICK #1: As Trump bans Muslims, Mexicans and soon papayas into America, humans are making all sorts of unique connections elsewhere. A fine example is the story of a Mississippi toddler and a newborn calf that lost its mummy a few days earlier. Little Kinley Gray, two, of Michigan City, could be seen in photos taken by her mom, Lacey Gray of Delta Rose Photography, curling up next to Molly, the weeks-old calf.
Let’s just hope Trump doesn’t sign a law against humans and animals fostering a bond or pet-owners are going to be sending Trump to the dog-pound soon.
PRICKLY PICK #2: At the SAG Awards last month, Jennifer Lawrence Prays For “Compassion to return to the White House” Amid Trump’s Immigration Ban. She added that if Trump continued to show disrespect, she would be forced to do a Katniss Everdeen on him with her bow in the next Hunger Games.
PRICKLY PICK #3: Make-up artist and body painter Georgina Ryland just took Harry Potter fandom to a whole new level.
Georgina recently painted a nighttime scene depicting Hogwarts at night on her body, and the result is truly a masterpiece. The Brisbane, Australia-based artist created the work of art using both makeup and paint.
We now hear the JK Rowling was so impressed with the body art that she will now be writing her new Harry Potter novel on Georgina’s bod. Whoa! Rad!
PRICKLY PICK #4: Rimmel London just cast a man in its latest makeup campaign. The next campaign will feature Grumpy Cat in a tuxedo and top hat. Meow!
PRICKLY PICK #5: Clearly, there are still folks who are inspired by Cinderella’s magical pumpkin coach because in Nova Scotia, people decorate giant pumpkins and turn them into boats.
Boeing was so impressed by this that they are now in talks with American pumpkin farmers to see how they can create a new Air Force One aircraft using this popular root vegetable.
PRICKLY PICK #6: The ironical half of millennial assassins wore an LOL T-shirt when she went in for the kill at the Kuala Lumpur airport. Is this a Buzzfeed world we are living in right now? Imagine how much it would suck if death comes in form of your date wearing YOLO shirt on Valentine’s Day. Last heard the dead half brother of the North Korean Leader Kim Jung Un ‘will be buried in a new shirt that says “Omg I’m Like Literally Dead”
Inspired by the cold war premise of this unfolding thriller, we heard that a dozen Young Adult Fiction authors have started writing their sequel to The Hunger Games franchise.
PRICKLY PICK #7: Emma Watson hasn’t been able to catch a break since the Vanity Fair shoot where she had the nerve to express her sexuality and bare some skin in a white crocheted Burberry bolero. She missed the memo that all feminists are only allowed to wear black turtlenecks in their photos.
PRICKLY PICK #8: So it seems like ITV drama Cold Feet has failed to google how Singapore looked like before they came over to shoot their oversea scenes. Now the citizens of Singapore are apologising to post production house Molinare for screwing up their TV show because their skyline does not look “Singaporean” enough. How dare they have English street signs (named after British men who made their mark in the country), expats or high-rise buildings!
They are genuinely sorry for causing much inconvenience to Molinare which had to digitally erase out the British tourists and changed all the street signs to Chinese. They agree that it is a bad decision of Singapore to adopt English as the nation’s working language. Instead every Singapore citizen should be made to take up Chinese language so that Singapore can convincingly pass off as China. Neither nor the island state should have progressed economically and built any new buildings after the British left Singapore in the 1950s. Didn’t they know that this would deprive the show of the authentic “Oriental” facade?
Singaporeans were most sorry about “Englishtown” – a place so new that nobody in the entire nation had heard of it. But don’t worry, the government is currently looking into tearing down all the skyscrapers and other modern architecture so that the country would revert to looking like the good ol’ colonialism days for the next British drama to be shot there.
PRICKLY PICK #9: We like to express our thanks to Polish lawmaker Janusz Korwin-Mikke for putting all women in our places by telling us that we deserve to be paid less because we are weaker, smaller and less intelligent. Since we are the inferior species, can we put in less hours at work to reflect our lower pay? Because we would love to get off from office at 3.00pm every day to have high tea, knit scarves and gossip about our neighbours.
PRICKLY PICK #10: “If this sounds strange and exotic (preferably Oriental*) and references from ancient mystical rituals, it must be true.” says every idiotic celebrity ever. No, you should not put jade eggs in your vagina just because Gwyneth Paltrow says so. That’s plain Goopshit.
