Is this your favourite time of year? Or are you a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas time? Is that perhaps because you found out about Father Christmas in an unceremonious manner and saw all your yuletide dreams crushed in less time than it takes to neck a mince pie, down a glass of sherry and fake reindeer teeth marks in a carrot left out by the fireplace?
According to FamiliesOnline 47% of parents in the UK have admitted they would choose never to tell their child the truth about Father Christmas given the choice, saying you should always believe. But despite our nationwide fascination with ‘the cheery man in red’ more than a third of parents (38%) said they would be telling their child the truth before they start secondary school. By which time you’d have hoped they would have guessed.
Faye Mingo, Director of Product and Marketing at FamiliesOnline commented: “Most parents dread the day that their children ask the big question ‘Is he real mummy?’ But with friends spreading gossip in the school playground and the popularity of social media and the Internet, it’s becoming easier for children to search for information online and inevitably discover the truth for themselves.”
As parents try to keep the magic alive for as long as possible, a further 11% of UK parents said they would feel the need to reveal the truth by the time their child reaches seven years of age. Interestingly, 3% of parents would avoid the scenario all together and tell them the truth from a much younger age, under four years.
We asked some comedians and the Funny Women team about when they found out the truth about Santa…
Comedian and promoter Lucy Bee said she found out from: “Another, horrible girl at school, when I was 5 or 6 who was intent on spoiling it for everyone else. I had to go on pretending I believed, to my parents and sister for a while afterwards, and ignore the fact that the glitter footprints from our gas fire were exactly the same size as my dad’s size 13 boots!”
Stand-up comic Pauline Eyre brought some parenting realness (and pride) to the table: “My daughter was in a ballet class with older girls (because she was a fucking PRODIGY) when someone threw it in all matter-of-fact. My darling girl just looked at me with a smile and we talked about it on the way home. I think she enjoyed feeling like a bigger girl. Weirdly not distressing at all. I had to pretend for YEARS because my older siblings thought we wouldn’t get stockings if I didn’t believe…”
Funny Women producer Kate Lennon painted a charming Christmas picture: “I was sharing a room with my sister one Christmas. I awoke to the sound of someone falling over and swearing loudly. I shouted ‘Ruth, SHUT THE F**K UP!’ ‘It wasn’t me’ my sister said giggling, then a voice that sounded very much like my mother’s said ‘Ho ho ho. GO BACK TO SLEEP’. That’s my story. Another one is that Santa likes to recycle our wrapping paper each year…”
Funny Women editor Kate Stone shares: “In case Father Christmas having the exact same handwriting as my mum wasn’t enough of a hint, being sent to the 99p shop to get stocking fillers for my own bloody stocking really drove the message home.”
Someone needs to sit comedian Rosie Wilby down and have a talk: “What do you mean …. The truth?”
