Some things we only wear once or twice a year at most. Those shoes that look amazing but hurt like hell. Halloween costumes. Sparkly… anything. A jacket which feels too chilly if it’s below 21 degrees out.
The Christmas jumper.
Considering how narrow the acceptable timespan for wearing Christmassy things is, I try not to own too many jumpers. My niece disagrees. She’s of the mind that I should be buying a new Christmas jumper every year. Wearing the same jumper two years on the trot is (so I hear) really uncool. Which is a bit ironic, with December being one of the consistently coldest months.
I wasn’t exactly sure this would be a good idea.
“But do I need 28 jumpers just for Christmas?”
“You can always throw some away.”
Oh dear. Yes, it seems my niece is one of those people who thinks novelty snowman jumpers grow on trees. Along with new phones and chocolate bars. Nothing will ever be quite enough for her generation.
Christmas is possibly the worst time to be stuck with a family of materialists. We’ve swapped the ‘ho ho ho’ for ‘me me me’. We also swapped ‘fa la la la la, la la la la’ for ‘me me me me me, me me me me’. (You get my point.) I only wish they were that emotionally attached to the wrapping paper – such a waste.
On top of that, if there’s a day when I REALLY don’t want to be judged on my fashion sense it’s December 25th. The ‘I’ll have seconds, another Kir Royale, and half the trifle’ look is enviable but not exactly appealing. I want to relax on the sofa, my turkey-filled tum arching proudly into the air in front of me, without fear of reprisal.
At the time, I was full of mince pies and didn’t have much energy to argue with her. But rest assured that I’ll be clinging to my current Christmas jumper until the beak falls off. (It’s a penguin. The beak is stragetically covering the stomach. I think it must be fate.)
