Picture this – It’s 8am on a Sunday when no one with the good sense God gave a mule would be up, but you are. You board the No. 2 train from Brooklyn to Manhattan and look for a seat. There’s a bench opposite with a girl with her head buried in a book perched on one end. In the middle of the bench, however, is uh, well, this:
Your decaffeinated brain and sleep-deprived eyes deceive you; surely, everyone KNOWS this wad is there!
It would appear you’re right. For, as soon as you enter the train, seven pairs of eyes are on you. The bookworm momentarily looks up from her book. The couple sitting opposite the wad stare at you. The old bloke with his back resting against the pole cranes his head around. If the situation weren’t painfully obvious, you’d swear you got onboard muttering an obscenity – or worse, with your fly unzipped. The collective seem to be saying the same thing – they’re DARING you to take the bait.
There’s only one place to sit – and everyone knows this – on the bench with the bookworm and the crazy cash. Well, there’s nothing for it so off you go… eyes watching you intently. You sit down, making no attempt to make the obvious do-gooder announcement or even claim ‘The Precious’ for your own. The collective seem to approve as you park yourself nonchalantly next to the wad and start fiddling with your smartphone, trying to do what everyone else is doing. It’s as if the prevailing mindset were ‘For God’s sake, don’t encourage it!’
The train slows as the next stop appears through the windows. You are now one with the collective, daring any oncoming passenger to go for the suspicious greenbacks. A guy gets on with music blasting through his headphones. All eyes, yours included, are trained on him as if you were a S.W.A.T. team closing in on your mark. At first, he looks mutinous because of the stares, then he observes the cash and walks to the other end of the train. His eyes say ‘What’s this? Somethin’ ain’t right!’
The doors open at the next stop, and the bookworm gets off leaving you alone with the stash. A preppy-looking guy boards, is also listening to music. He appears oblivious to all the stares and walks straight up to the wad then flings HIS thumb at you (well, you ARE sitting next to it). He looks at the cash then back at you as if to ask ‘Is that yours?’ You glance back, palms outstretch with a ‘No, but if you’re that desperate…’ look on your face. He goes to sit where the bookworm had been only moments earlier and tries to scoop the wad into his pocket without raising suspicion. Ha! The faces of all in that area of the train who witnessed the event read the same: ‘So young, so weak!’
