Ladies. I have just had a very disconcerting experience that I need to talk to someone about. Please bear with me.
Here I am, busily working away at my desk. I’m a freelance copywriter, so I work from home. It’s a reasonably nice day, and there’s fresh coffee steaming on the table next to me. Work is going well. Life feels good today.
A little while ago, I heard a noise from outside that sounded like someone moving the bins. Odd, I thought. It’s not bin day. We’re lucky in this part of town to even have a bin day. With so many abandoned mattresses on the pavement, you’d forgive the bin men for cutting corners a bit.
Looking up was my mistake. What hit my eyes as I did so was the sight of a man clambering over our bins and then taking a leak in our bush. The horror!
Someone has just piddled directly outside of my window. In broad daylight, with no regard for the plants or my net curtains. This fact hit me like a wet brick. Ugh. I wanted to avert my eyes, yet somehow I just didn’t manage it in time. He zipped up, pulled up the hood of his coat and sauntered off down the road like nothing had happened. At which point I felt I had to come here and post this immediately. (As you do.)
Yes, I should have banged on the window and told him where to go. I should’ve taken a photo (of his face!) and informed the local constabulary. But at that moment, I was rooted to the spot. My brain couldn’t process the sheer what-the-fridgemagnet of what I was seeing.
So I’m disgusted and appalled right now, and I needed to get that off my chest. The strangest thing is… I sort of want to find out where this guy lives and go tinkle in his garden. Would you blame me?
