Has your sister/daughter/niece/cousin/imaginary friend ever asked to borrow your clothes? Oh, of course, silly me – they never ask first. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve interrupted my niece in the act, buried so deep in the wardrobe that I thought she might be trying to reach Narnia. It’s always a bit scary watching a previously sweet, lovely little girl turn into a fashion-obsessed monster, pawing through a rail of dresses like it’s the sale section at Dorothy Perkins.
My niece particularly likes to wear my shoes. She struts around my parents’ house in them – flats, boots and every other pair I own fits her perfectly. She’s nine years old.
This completely horrifies me.
I found it mortifying enough when my nephew, who is barely into his teens, discovered that he’s finally taller than me. Yes, I am a very short person, but I wear clothes for ages 10 and 11 and definitely not any younger. I wasn’t expecting a nine-year-old to catch me up. I hoped I’d have at least another year of gloating and not needing to wear heels at every family gathering to avoid being leant on.
Now, I don’t know if it’s just me being a crotchety 20-something, but I do think that children are growing up alarmingly quickly. It might also be that, when I was 10, my own fashion sense was a bit lacking. The concept of co-ordinating an outfit had yet to enter my precocious little head. I thought nothing of wearing a tracksuit with jelly shoes (over socks! Yuck!). I don’t think any photos of that still exist. I’m going to hope not, anyway.
My niece ignores sandals and gives ballet pumps only a cursory glance – it’s the wedges and stiletto heels at the bottom of my wardrobe that she’s after. A nine-year-old has no business wearing black patent courts. Besides, if she scuffs them there’ll be hell to pay.
I can’t even raid her outfits in revenge, because she has a few too many frilled skirts, stripy leggings and pastel pink Disney T-shirts in her own wardrobe than I’m comfortable with. There was one pair of sneakers with concealed wedge heels that I could have stolen from her, if not for the fact they were drenched in glitter.
The one thing I’m trying to keep in mind is that she’s going to keep growing. Once she’s grown out of my shoes, I’m taking them all back.
