10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
BONG!!!!
BONG!!!!
BONG!!!!
BONG!!!! (Etc. x 12),
Mother called out once more for her marijuana-smoking device: “BONG!!!”
“Shut up, Irene! I’m trying to watch Jools Holland bring in the New Year!” snapped Dad.
And so began 2014.
Families often come to blows in December. It’s a time of indulgence and gluttony. Everyone wants more and they’ll punch you (in the groin if necessary) to get it. The way I see things, for at least one week at the end of each year, we all become fully-fledged monsters of the Binge-Culture Club.
Binge drinking, binge eating, binge sexing, binge gambling, binge smoking; there’s something for everyone. It’s an uninhibited behavioural pattern, somehow more acceptable at Christmas and New Year, but usually fraught with undesirable consequences (i.e. 7lbs gained annually).
Until 2008, the growing popularity of the ‘binge watching’ phenomenon had passed me by because I’d never owned a VHS or a DVD player and I’ve never been able to afford a box set. My discovery of Netflix, however, has changed all this. In 2013, I managed to alter my entire festive pattern with a little show called 'Breaking Bad' and a form of bingeing that eliminated the need for conversation or social interaction of any kind.
'Breaking Bad' is a cult U.S. TV-show about Crystal Meth (a narcotic made out of metal shavings and blue food colouring). Like its subject matter, the show is addictive and thanks to Netflix, I was able to binge watch the first four seasons back-to-back over 48-Christmas-hours.
“It’ll rot your brain, all that telly-watching!” said mother, “You’ll end up with square eyes!”
I calmly explained to her that binge watching fashionable TV shows is now the done thing and that there are no ill effects whatsoever.
By the end of Boxing Day, I’d completed the entire 'Breaking Bad' series and I enjoyed it so much, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Somehow, though, I just can’t help wondering if I should really feel so free of guilt about this form of bingeing.
Like Walter White, all good drug pushers know that you should never touch the stuff yourself. This makes me wonder if the bosses at Netflix would, themselves, indulge in the same marathon-viewing habit they’re selling to the nation? On-demand TV has become something of a new norm. Gone are the days of waiting till next week for the BBC to drip-feed us our fix. Gone is the agony of waiting for 'The Antiques Roadshow' to finish so you can watch something at least mildly entertaining.
Should we be worried by the 2012 study that taunts: "three hours of television a day will increase a person’s risk of death by any cause."?
No – because saying "death by any cause" suggests that telly-watching is going to make parachutes less likely to open, force people to drink from poisoned cups and magnetise human bodies so that cars can’t help but drive into them. I just can’t take it seriously.
There are lots of damning reports on the health implications of physical inactivity whilst watching television but personally, I think I’m more likely to run on the spot while I’m watching 'Breaking Bad', than I am to do sit-ups whilst binge-reading the entire works of Charles Dickens – and there are no damning reports against doing that now, are there?
Good or bad, the means for binge watching are more abundant than ever. The way we watch television is changing and if the quality of the output manages to hit the right mark in 2014, who could blame viewers for wanting to give up on their actual lives and immerse themselves in the fictional?
Sue Sherwin is a Modern Creative, working in motivational speaking, Arts and Crafts and supermarkets.
