The Honest Truth: Friendships

With shows like Sex and The City we are taught that friendships are forever, but that’s not always the case. Losing a friendship can be as difficult as a breakup. In fact, it is a breakup in some case, isn’t it? Some of my friendships have lasted as long as one of Kim Kardashian’s marriages. The 72-hour one. We get told once we lose something that everything will be ok, but will it though? How do you know that? The answer is, we don’t. The correct answer is that it won’t be ok but you will learn to cope with the loss of something which then makes you live happy again. Here is why.

No matter what you lose whether it is a job or a hair tie (yes, I just compared losing a friend to a hair tie) we automatically go into mourning mode. You don’t form friendships to then eventually stop being friends with them. So, it is sad and does not feel good when you stop the friendship, whatever the reason might be. When we get told ‘that it is going to be ok’ it gives us this false hope that it will be but this feeling of hope is temporary. This is what you should do. 

Take accountability and let yourself be upset. Allowing yourself to be upset does not mean you have to watch The Notebook 25 times in a day and cry yourself to sleep whilst eating chocolate (like I have done on some occasions…). You can be upset and do your normal daily activities. The only difference is you are not fooling yourself into thinking ‘everything will be ok right away’, where that will only lead you to be more upset in the long run when it doesn’t happen. 

Reminding yourself that you will form new and better friendships is the thing you can hold onto right away. Friendships happen naturally, whether you are at the grocery store or in your local yoga class. In fact, I’ve made friends with my hairdresser at my local salon! Despite how much I rant to her… 

When you stop being friends with someone people often assume it will be hard to make friends again because of trust issues. Again, this has happened to me so many times, despite me still having my guard up, I do allow people in because I have learned that just because one friendship didn’t work out, does not mean my future friendships will be the same.

I assumed as I grew into an ‘adult’ that my friends would stay the same forever and the drama would stop. Oh, was I wrong. No matter what age, friends come and go. I am fine with that. It doesn’t mean all friendships will fail but if they do, you know in the back of your mind that this isn’t the end of the world. Let yourself be upset and if someone tells you ‘It will be ok’, respond with ‘no it won’t, but it will be.’

Rebecca Adams will be sharing The Honest Truth every month on funnywomen.com!