I’m a daydreamer. I’ve always been a daydreamer. I daydream whenever I get a moment to myself. Which in this current climate, is often. Traditionally, they are 12-rated daydreams, but occasionally I’ll slip in an 18 if I’ve had a good nights sleep.
These days they mainly involve actor Stanley Tucci, an exquisite spaghetti bolognese, followed by a gentle walk along the Southbank whilst the paps take intrusive but effortlessly stunning photos of me and ends with us spooning in a posh hotel coupled with some romantic love-making where I don’t break a sweat and my make-up stays perfectly in place for the rest of the night. Ah, daydreams!
One morning, when I was around 12 years old, my sister accused me of talking to myself in the large mirror in our hallway whilst I was getting ready for school. I profusely denied it as I scraped my hair back into a tight, high ponytail (which would later give me a hideous headache. But, hey who am I to deny 90’s fashion).
But she was right, I was engaged in a serious (PG-rated) conversation with my heartthrob boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio (circa Romeo + Juliet) as he wanted to hold my hand in public and kiss with tongues, and I thought moving to second base was way too soon in the relationship (Disclaimer: I had no idea what second base was. Still don’t).
As we enter our third week of lockdown and continue to navigate our way through this strange new world, I have to admit my daydreams have become a bit of a lifeline. As I take my once-daily-government-issued exercise and walk the streets of Hammersmith, I have received countless awards, given deeply emotional and heartfelt acceptance speeches (standing ovations after each and every one), had the great and the good of Hollywood desperate to shag me (obviously), gained Phoebe Waller-Bridge as my best friend (our leaked WhatsApp chats trended worldwide eventually providing the foundations of a whole new SNL sketch), sung a duet with John Legend at his piano (more standing ovations, endless tears of gratitude), settled countless feuds and told loved ones how I really feel about them.
Just to clarify I’m not a madwoman, I’m fully aware these are just fantasies in my head and are highly unlikely to ever come true (although I know for a fact that PWB and I will be great friends). But you know what? That’s okay. Getting lost inside my own head is actually a lovely escape from all the madness around us right now and my advice to you is this:
Try it.
You never know, some of those daydreams might just become a reality. I now tell my loved ones how much they mean to me on a daily basis and yes, I did actually settle a long-standing feud. It didn’t play out exactly as it did in my head, but what does? My daydream became real and it was wonderful.
Oh, one more thing… the other night I bought an electric piano and I’ve decided to teach myself to play. Better get that restraining order ready, John Legend.
