Selfies.
We all take them (and probably too many of them). I hold my hands up to that – with my iPhone clutched tightly in one of them.
This Christmas, my beloved Mum’s gone one better. We’ve moved on from emoji-filled text message wars. Seeing as texting me is now 10 times as expensive, there was no other choice.
She’s emailed me an elfie.
Not your standard selfie. An elfie. That’s a very important distinction to make. Because in the photo, she’s wearing a Christmas elf hat.
I’m going to be a really good daughter here and leave out the photo in question.
Imagine, please, if you will, your own parent in this scenario. Smiling into the camera, while wearing a striped red and green pompom hat with elf ears sewn onto it.
I did also get a shot of her feet, covered in lurid green velour elf shoes. There were bells on the shoes. I’m assuming they jingle. I was mercifully spared the video.
The Christmas spirit cup doth runneth over, as she technically sent me these pics in November. As if MY Mum was ever going to sit and patiently wait for December to get here. There are Christmas decorations back home which were put up years ago and are now permanent fixtures.
Starting this early means she’s got a commitment to wear that hat all month now. Given the weather in England right now, I expect she’ll waltz it. Even in those green shoes.
But I still don’t know WHY. Sure, Mum’s got previous for dressing up on Halloween, but this is new. The snowman deelyboppers and light-up Rudolph earrings don’t usually come out until Christmas Day. What happened this year?
I think what this comes down to is that we got our wires crossed somewhere.
Mum. I wanted you to be happy and healthy this Christmas. HEALTHY. Hea- oh, never mind. She probably can’t hear me with that hat over her ears, can she?
