Japan is a land of procedure, and of doing things ‘the proper way’. Even when that way makes little sense. I’m happy to smile, nod and get on with it most of the time. There are also times when I just want to take the entire pile of essential forms and burn it.
A few days ago, I found out I was missing a document.
When I got here, I should’ve had a ‘white slip’ stapled into my passport. In Japanese, it’s called a ‘shiteisho’. I’m not 100% certain it’s coincidental that the word starts with ‘shit’.
This itty bit of paper’s wildly important. It confirms that I’m allowed to do ‘designated activities’ here. Just like it says ‘designated activities’ in reasonably big letters on my foreigner card. But that’s not enough, no no.
If I apply for a job, whether it’s a 9-5 or three hours on a weekend, I’ve got to show the shiteisho. No white slip, no work, sunshine.
I only discovered this error by chance. A nice man at the local ‘foreigner employment office’ riffled through my passport and wondered out loud why this paper wasn’t there.
Had I lost it? No, I’ve never seen one of those before in my life.
I was about to lose it for reals, though. They told me to leg it over to immigration for my precious shiteisho before it closed. And then leg it back to the employment office before THEY closed. Oh, um, alright then. Is it within walking distance?
LOL of course not. Walk, then take two trains, then walk some more. Go on, you’ve only got three and a half hours, off you trot.
Did I mention Japanese immigration offices are unofficially recognised circles of hell?
Like a primary school English teacher with too many classes to prep for, I had the same conversation about four times in as many hours. “Shiteisho? What, did you lose it or something?”
The ‘bright red face and white knuckles’ combination I was rocking by then must’ve inspired sympathy in the receptionist. There was a fresh white slip stapled firmly into my passport within 10 minutes.
When I got back from immigration, clutching my slightly bulkier passport, the nice man finally completed my registration.
And then told me I’m not allowed to apply for full-time work there, because I don’t have the right kind of visa. Like I say, procedure is everything.
