What news events caught the eye of The Tomboy Tirade crew? Persis and Raven give their ten prickly picks for the month of April.
PRICKLY PICK #1
Last month, the Panama Papers were released, detailing how the rich and powerful hide their offshore billions.
Iceland’s prime minister resigned after Icelanders reportedly threw Skyr yoghurt and eggs at their Parliament in protest. Who knew that the humble yoghurt can be such a powerful tool for democracy? The reason why this scandal is not called Panama Watergate yet, because that would just be the Panama Canal. And that probably explains why the papers are “leaking”. And you may want to know, where is the world’s favourite super villain and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin in all this? Bribe us with a billion dollar offshore account and we’d definitely tell you.
PRICKLY PICK #2
The iconic Ghost in the Shell anime has adapted for a Hollywood movie and it has recently released the first picture of Scarlett Johansson as Major Motoko Kusanagi.
Just because her acting resume included a stint in that the Lost in Translation movie, it still does not make her a Japanese. How about hiring an actual Asian actress for once like, Emma Stone? In fact, who do you think will win in a faceoff between the whitest person Hollywood can find – the one-quarter Hawaiian Emma Stone or the Michael Jackson look-alike Joseph Fiennes ?
PRICKLY PICK #3
U2 singer wants to deploy a crack team of comedians made up of Amy Schumer, Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen to fight the ISIS.
Now that is your comedy hit movie for 2016.. So our expert on Middle East extremism, Bono, thinks that comedy is a valid alternative to air strikes. Wait, whatever happened to music saving the world?
Maybe the head of ISIS was an aspiring comedian who was heckled off the stage. He’s probably thinking, “I can’t make people laugh so I have to go back to my day job of bombing the Western civilisation instead.” The last thing we want is for him to have The Dictator movie downloaded automatically into his iTunes at the next OS upgrade.
PRICKLY PICK #4
Gucci ‘s new campaign ad was recently banned on UK TV, for featuring an unhealthily thin model.
Wait, so this is a real ad? I thought it was a trailer for the new Zoolander sequel at first. This ad should be banned – for using a bad Joy Division cover. Six feet below us, Ian Curtis has to spinning in his grave. Is this Gucci’s weird idea about how the Millennial are like? Where everyone is dancing their self-absorbed dances and wearing retro wallpaper from the 70s?
PRICKLY PICK #5
Johnny Depp & Amber Heard apologised in a pro-quarantine video for illegally bringing their terriers to Australia
Johnny Depp is known for playing eccentric characters but even he is charting new Depp with the dog apology video. It sounded like they were either recording a sombre message in a hostage situation or a trailer for his new hostage thriller movie. He might just ended his Oscar drought next year with his very convincing performance of a person who is forced to apologise under much duress.
PRICKLY PICK #6
The Jungle Book Scores Huge $103.6 Million U.S. Debut at the Box Office while Costner’s new action flick bombs
Er, yeah – wasn’t Costner’s last hit back in the 1860s or something Raven? Oh, sorry, I got that confused with the period in which his last hit, Dances With Wolves’= was made. The fact that Jungle Book – a perennial Rudyard Kipling favourite (which was incidentally written in 1894) has been made into film countless number of times and have become box-office hits while Costner’s latest effort is a true original kinda makes me feel someone should throw him and his acting career to the wolves. No pun intended.
PRICKLY PICK #7
Suspected drone hits plane during Heathrow landing
When a drone hit a British Airways flight during its landing at Hearthrow Airport recently, it took the pilots by surprise, especially when it wasn’t Superman beating the crap out of Batman in mid-air. Authorities have since launched an investigation and will take severe action on guilty parties. Some say it could have been Kanye West testing out a new idea for his startup.
PRICKLY PICK #8
The vintage baby name mania
Yes, you heard me right, Raven. Apparently, not only are vintage beards, cars, clothes and crafts popular with the hipster Millennial generation – mothers and fathers of ripe fertile ages are now Googling vintage names for their newborns. I now shudder to think that years from now, should any of these children become psychotic, we’ll be having serial killers of the future going round with old medieval names like Osgiliath, Etheltred, Fritjof, Agathangelos, Minotaur or Anzelika, where the sounds of their names are so dramatic, it’s enough to send shivers down our spines at the mention of it.
PRICKLY PICK #9
Plastic Surgery Could Have Killed The Human Ken Doll
You know, whenever I hear stories like these on the newswire, I’m not sure whether to show empathy or laugh it off as another anomaly of the human race, namely because there are so many factors that go into the transformation of a human into a doll. Plastic surgery just being one of it. I do wonder how he paid up for those treatments though. Did he just have to walk by the clinic’s payment counter and his bill amount would be automatically deducted from his account? After all, there’s only 3 ways to make payment these days – cash, cheque or plastic. I guess he chose plastic.
PRICKLY PICK #10
Kim Kardashian Calls Kanye West an ‘Annoying Dad’ In Cute Photos With North West
It seems like no matter what Kanye does these days, he’s rubbing someone the wrong way, including his two year old daughter, North who was recently snapped crying, by mom, Kim Kardashian, when Dada tried to hug her. We suspect that it was probably because he was harassing her for seed money for his next terrible startup idea. Leave the kid alone, Kanye and get back to your drone-testing!
