Kudos to you if you’re the type who loves to clean the house. This is an enthusiasm that my Mum clearly didn’t pass down to me. She polishes, scrubs and wipes surfaces like a woman possessed. I watch, stricken with horror and reluctance.
My idea of hoovering is ‘hoovering up the crumbs at the bottom of the crisp packet’.
To help convince your friends that you love housework – without needing to do any – here are some euphemisms you can use:
Polishing: Most commonly ‘polishing off’, used in the context of finishing a box, packet or tub.
Dusting: Covering a cake, bun or doughnut in icing sugar.
Ironing: Rolling out dough, which you can then bash therapeutically with the rolling pin.
Brushing: Lovingly painting a sauce or glaze over some ham. This also works for ribs, chicken, pork chops, sausages, and pie crusts.
Soaking: Feeding a cake as much brandy as it’ll take.
Mopping: Using some delicious bread to clean off a soup bowl.
Making the bed: …nice and warm, by snuggling down under the covers and refusing to get up.
Taking out the trash: Having a bit of a rant with your best mate over a nice cup of tea.
Got any more ideas? Tweet them @funnywomen and we’ll RT our favourites.
