Leafing through the glossy pages of Cosmopolitan magazine is like reading something by The Brothers Grimm. This is not real life. This is not an achievable body shape, or an achievable work-life balance, or – cover your eyes – an achievable Karma Sutra position. Frankly, all of it looks painful.
Much of the ‘advice’ provided by Cosmo would put it firmly in the ‘fiction’ section at WH Smith. The ideals being proposed here can never be reached by human beings.
Cosmo has long been the home of the personality quiz, but lists have barged in (just like they’ve done everywhere else). The online mag is once again channeling the spirit of Buzzfeed this month, with ‘The 23 eternal struggles of being The Funny One in the group’. Dear God. Where do I even start?
Alright, I’ll start with there being 23 things. We can’t just say that exactly 23 issues exist for the funny women of this world. I mean, this is from the same source as ’10 signs he’s going to propose (maybe)’. You don’t just drop a ‘maybe’ in as a cover-all disclaimer. This set of 23 had better be scientifically accurate down to the last ‘LOL’.
1. Being labelled ‘the funny one’ is entirely your own fault, but it means you have to live up to it ALL THE TIME.
I… okay. That pretty much covers it. As in, it covers the whole problem. Once you’re funny, you’d better stay funny. The other 22 entries are all just examples of that situation, right? So we don’t need the rest of the list. I’m glad we cleared that up. I’m just going to close this tab now…
Wait! Wait a goddamned second.
16. A lot of guys inherently hate funny women.
Are you sure about that? I’m going to need to see the research data here. First off, how many guys is ‘a lot of guys’? Did you by any chance ask some leading questions to the bored men playing table football in a corner of the office? “Yeah, so guys, you totally get annoyed when a woman makes too many jokes, right? You hate that, yeah? No, you don’t just hate that, you INHERENTLY hate that, y’know? Yeah? Great. Super.”
Other points on this list at least try to show some justification, even if it’s watered-down pop psychology. Number 16 here is not backed up by any kind of fact or figure whatsoever.
What gives, Cosmo? I mean, I’ve never expected you to provide substantial guidance on my lifestyle and wellbeing. But coming out and saying that humour is more than a turn-off – indeed, that it will inspire sheer hatred from men – is downright dangerous.
We’ve got enough going on with trying to get (and keep) comedy club bookings, fighting for better representation on TV and radio shows, and not accidentally upsetting other feminists. Please, Cosmo. Put down the ’12 gross but satisfying things all women do’ and stick up for the girls a bit more.
