I had to ask myself this question a few months ago after a reading a retweet on Twitter by the excellent Everyday Sexism Project. The project highlights examples of sexism in daily life in an attempt to challenge them. People send in their experiences, often of the most horrendous sexual harassment and misogyny.
Everyday sexism retweeted a post by an engineering PhD student, whose washing machine repairman had asked her if her boyfriend could change a plug. She replied "I eat plugs for breakfast".
Now this posed several questions in my mind apart from the obvious: how nutritious can plugs for breakfast possibly be?
The PhD student had clearly taken this a sexist comment however there are a number of other potential explanations.
It could have been a clumsy way of finding out whether she had a boyfriend, opening the way to ask her on a date or more sinisterly finding out whether she was a single woman living on her own. Another possible interpretation was that the washing machine repair man was actually inferring that the washing machine fault lay with the plug, in which case if she had changed the plug instead of eating them for breakfast she might have saved herself a hefty £250 call out charge!
There was also a tweet from a female pilot who reported being fed up being asked what it is like to fly a plane? I doubted that all these enquiries had sexist overtones, people just want to know what it is like to fly a plane! I suspect male pilots get asked exactly the same question. I know when I shared a flat with a girl who studied aeronautical engineering, I asked her to explain flying to me every single day. After two years of explaining thrust and lift, she moved out. I still think flying is some sort of black magic.
When you compare these 'sexist' comments to the sort of hideous misogynist and verbal abuse reported on the Everyday Sexism Project on a daily basis then it seems somewhat harsh to place them in the same category. After all, people make assumptions all the time, we are programmed to make snap judgements about people, we all do it. I went into a shop the other day and started to speak to the older female shop assistant assuming she was the manager when it was the younger woman standing beside her. Women can be just as bad for making assumptions. Assumptions can be wrong but mostly there is no malicious intent whether made by men or women.
Assumptions are not necessarily sexist or misogynistic. Might I respectfully suggest using humour outwardly or inwardly to deflect wrong assumptions rather than taking offense when none was meant. If I were the female pilot I would have all sorts of pre prepared jokes about cockpits!
I have always considered myself a feminist. I read Germaine Greer’s ‘The Female Eunuch’ at the age of 16, I shaved my hair in the 1980s, listened to Michelle Shocked and played for my University football team. However, could I change a plug or a car tyre or switch off the water supply in my house, and for that matter does it matter?
The truth is I don’t need to know how to do these things. I have a husband I keep for such practical matters. In fact he’s also ace at cooking, baking, keeping the house in order and looking after the kids. So what is it I do? Let me think. Well I come in handy if there are angry phone calls to be made or a confrontation to be had. Send in the Rottweiler.
Does the admission that I probably can’t change a plug mean I don’t get onto the official feminist register? Thankfully such a thing doesn’t exist (as far as I know). I am fairly confident I would pass the feminist theory exam but might struggle if there turns out to be a practical (unless it’s football of course).
Jeannie Jones – Aspiring to Stand Up and not bottle it. Would be comedian, writer, mummy with a day job. You can follow Jeannie @bottlejones
