When I was seven I went on holiday to a camp-site in the South of France. I met a girl who claimed she was in the circus. We developed an intense friendship, which culminated in me making her laugh so hard she wet herself. The bar was raised and since then I have devoted my life to being funny.
Imagine my shock when it came time to think about boyfriends in a serious way (last year) and I realised there was a strange rumour being circulated in the social sphere. This is the unfounded notion that men do not fancy funny women. Apparently when he says he is looking for a sense of humour, he means he is looking for someone to laugh at his jokes. As a comedy-cabaret performer I pose a double threat as potential lovers assume they will not only have to deal with witticisms, but may have to come face to face with nipple tassels, which for the record, I don't own.
The idea that men are probably intimidated by me, lead to self-doubt and a decision to suppress my banter on dates. This way I could quietly nod and smile my way to him putting a ring on it. This was akin to placing a roof on an erupting volcano, leading to heavy drinking and a regretful, unsatisfying fumble.
Perhaps I should stick to seeing foreign men, I thought. After all, they never get my jokes and judge me entirely on my sexual attractiveness. Although liberating for a while (Hans, Bertrand, Arturo…Mohammed), it is not a long term option as you mourn the parts of yourself that are lost in translation.
So I decided to continue to be me and promote myself as a 'thinking man's' crumpet. Now I am happily up there with Tina Fey, Margaret Thatcher and Fern Britton. We swap cup cake recipes and talk about the most efficient way to handcuff our husbands to the four poster bed. It's jolly.
Of course there are men out there who are threatened by funny, clever women. We have a name for them, it begins with 'C' and rhymes with 'shunt'. You will recognise him as he laughs raucously at his own unfunny jokes and eyes you suspiciously when you crack a corker. If you have met one of these specimens, shunt him immediately. This man will grow fat, have affairs and finally end up with a mail order bride who can't speak English but runs an exceptionally tight ship.
Never dumb yourself down, never change who you are to fit in to an archaic social 'norm', and never, for God's sake, suppress a gag; the world would be a very dreary place.
Damsel Sophie is an international comedy-cabaret-theatre artist and writer. Her shows 'The Damsel in Shining Armour' and 'HOT' will be touring in Australia and UK in 2012. For more details, click here HERE.
