I have just spent five days in a field near Norfolk at the Latitude Festival. I have camped out a few times before, but never for four nights with forecasted thunder and torrential rain. I was hoping forecasts would be wrong, but alas it rained and it rained and it rained. Thank goodness for wellies and plastic ponchos!
There was so much to do and see. I also wasted an hour of my life watching some odd contemporary dance set in a hotel where characters swapped roles which I couldn’t fathom – and I’ve got a GCSE in Dance. (I could tell you all about Rambert’s Death and The Maiden and knew exactly was going on you know!) I gave up five minutes before it finished. I wonder if there was a twist at the end…perhaps Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time?
I saw some poetry, danced to Dermot O’Leary’s Disco in the Woods and watched some great bands that took me back to my youth. The highlight was watching Alan Carr perform in the comedy tent. He is extraordinarily talented and had the crowd roaring with belly laughs. I wasn't performing at Latitude but friends of mine were – a truly daunting task to entertain 3,000 wet, cold, uncomfortable, campers of all ages.
Speaking of wet and uncomfortable, I tried my first 'she wee' at the festival. I had ignored the ‘female urinals’ for two days out of fear of the unknown but the situation became pressing after a few ciders so I thought I would give it a try. A nice lady gave me a paper funnel which looked like a chip cone with the end cut off (money saving tip there…you're welcome!) – the SheWee (TM). You actually have to stand like a man and pee into a trough! Although we had separate cubicals for modesty, the lady next to me didn't let that stop her engaging me in a little chat. She told me she couldn't go, and I confessed it was my first time. She had done it before but just had a little 'stage fright' it seemed.
I had arranged my 'fanny funnel' into what I thought was the correct area. On letting myself go and my new companion said, 'Oh well done!' This perturbed me a bit and I lost my concentration. All I'll say is I walked out of there with my head held high and my cardi wrapped around my waist slightly more on the left side to hide the large dark patch on my jeans. Hooray for good old-fashioned British rain to spare my blushes !
After 'Weegate' a friend of mine in the comedy arena complimented me, saying, 'Suzy it is a crime that you aren't up there…a crime!' He stopped short of calling the police though. It is lovely to hear people tell me I'm funny and I'm getting to the point now where I'm getting grey hairs and my everyday life throws up situations that according to my peers, 'should be in a show'. So this August I'm going to have a go at my first proper solo show as part of Funny Women at the Fringe. I'm lucky enough to have three hour-long slots on 12th, 19th, and 21st at Assembly, George Square 3 at 14:40 so do come along and support me. Tell your friends… it will be fun! BOOK YOUR TICKETS NOW!
After much thought about what to call my show it came to me like a flash whilst texting and facebooking friends frantically on a six-hour coach journey, describing and discussing my latest dating disasters and dilemmas and trivial worries and ramblings. Plus, those who know me are well aware of my obsession with a certain raincoat wearing tv hero who recently passed on to that great detective agency in the sky. As a tribute to Columbo and my ever-increasing need to talk about my problems what else could I call my show but (drumroll please): 'Suzy Bennett – There’s Just One More Thing'.
Suzy B
