Who said women are not funny? More importantly, I wonder if a man said it? The idea of unfunny women has been lingering around for decades, but surely in 2016 the idea of an unfunny woman is now just a cliché. I often find myself watching open mic comedians ramble on about paedophile jokes and rape jokes, who believes that the assault of a female is funny!? Where did this come from?
Shakespeare did not agree that women didn’t have a sense of humour. One of my favourite quotes from him is “Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must speak.” This is quoted from Shakespeare’s As You Like It. When Victoria Wood died in April 2016, I remember that the whole of the UK mourned at the loss of a great talent but also remembered the impact that her comedy style had on the UK scene.
Whilst I don’t like the negative connotations that the word ‘feminist’ is associated with, I feel that maybe the reason people use that word is because they see women as a threat. Women are strong and able and one day in the future, in fact maybe in a few months, a woman will actually run the world.
When I joined Solace Women’s Aid in June 2015, I thought I knew about how domestic and sexual abuse can affect people – but in fact I didn’t. Working at Solace has given me a different perspective of how abuse can discourage a person and make them feel less worthy. One of the women I supported discovered that I was a stand up comedian and asked me why I would go up on stage. She asked me, “When you get up on that stage, won’t all the men think about having sex from you”. I was quite surprised that she had said that to me, especially coming from the background of abuse she had faced, which included sexual abuse. I replied saying that, “No, I feel in control, strong, powerful and in charge because I know that with one joke I can make a room full of people laugh.”
I decided to do the events Stand Up For Women because I wanted to prove a point – that women can in fact be the highlight of the night without having to be seen as an object or hot or something other than what they are – funny women! In order for women to no longer to be defined, myself and other women must stand up and influence others because if one person can see that a change is coming, others will follow.
Despite the hard work that charities such as Solace Women’s Aid and Refuge and organisations that support them like Funny Women, it is clear that change is needed. It’s needed from people’s perspectives but essentially higher up in Government system, but it starts with us – the people. Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror comes to mind in this case and the lyrics: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change…” in the short time I have been working at Solace, I’ve seen first-hand how the support women affected by domestic and sexual abuse get can simply change their lives.
My service user is now going to be trying out her first ever stand up gig in a few weeks and I am very proud that she has survived domestic abuse; so she too can now spread the word about Stand Up 4 Women. Be a feminist and realise it’s not about the battle of the sexes; it’s about the equality and respect of the sexes.
As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said: “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are…Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.”
For more information about Stand Up 4 Women click here!
