What news events caught the eye of The Tomboy Tirade crew? Persis and Raven give their ten prickly picks for the month of June.
PRICKLY PICK #1 – Educating Malia
President Obama’s eldest daughter, Malia, has made a decision about where she will attend college. And she has chosen Harvard University. Thank God! Because we just heard that Donald Trump’s latest wife will be enrolling at community college, majoring in ‘Breast Top Publishing’.
PRICKLY PICK #2 – Castle Trump
ISIS Hackers just posted a “Hit List” of 3,000 New Yorkers. Yes that’s right ISIS is heading to the Big Apple and Donald Trump is in the process of building a wall around Trump Tower, surrounded by a moat, a drawbridge and some hired hitmen from the Mexican Cartel to defend his property. What can we say except only the best for Trump.
PRICKLY PICK #3 – Sharon Osbourne Kisses & Tells
At the back of our minds, we always knew this day was coming when Sharon would wake up from her marital coma of being betrothed to bat-shit crazy Ozzy Osbourne. Most normal people wouldn’t last this long in a rock n roll marriage with someone who slurs so much while talking he’d sound like a squad of annoying flies droning in the background of an African wildlife documentary. Whatever it is, congratulations to Sharon
PRICKLY PICK #4 – Kid destroys $15,000 LEGO sculpture an hour after new exhibit opens
Trust only a kid from China to be involved in the greatest destruction event in a child’s world. Such is the case with a young Chinese boy, who single-handedly pushed over a giant fox figurine of Nick from Zootopia on Sunday at the LEGO Expo in Ningbo, China.
What they aren’t telling us is that this is also a huge part of the country’s military training for junior rookies looking to join the army. Today it’s LEGO, tomorrow it could just be the bombing of a Middle Eastern town. Yikes!
PRICKLY PICK #5 – Michael Bay’s Next ‘Transformers’ Movie Villain Has Been Revealed
Just when you thought our planet has been attacked by every alien invasion or earthly disaster in the movies, it looks like there’s more ET’s in the bicycle basket coming our way.
The march toward next year’s Transformers: The Last Knight is well underway, with a new teaser announcing the imminent start of production on the movie and revealing a new face for an old menace due to return in the June 2017 release.
Turns out that the villain of all villains in what we hope is the last of a terrible franchise, is the resurrection (and recycling) of Megatron. Now, the Tomboy Tarts are pro-supporters of saving the environment and all but when a giant piece of alien iron junk is spewed out of the garbage bins of Michael Bay’s god-awful imagination, we can only say that Kirsten Stewart would’ve done a better job playing the expressionless antagonist. Her acting skills are spectacularly metallic it sends nothing but shivers down one’s rusty gears.
PRICKLY PICK #6 – China launched a blatant rip-off of Under Armour called Uncle Martian.
Hello Under Armour, meet your new Chinese counterpart, Uncle Martian. That’s right, the new sportswear brand claims to come in peace but its logo is the love child of Under Armour’s font and Fred Perry’s wreath.
What’s up with the Martian reference though? Is the brand trying to appeal to fans of China’s favourite astronaut Matt Damon from of “The Martian” movie? The Chinese rip-off brand is even brazen enough to take on Curry 2, one of Under Armour’s best-selling sneakers. See the above screenshot from the company’s website? The Curry’s “SC” logo is still visible on the shoe that it claimed to be selling. We have to admire the sheer audacity of Uncle Martians, like how it can’t even be bothered to do a photoshopped job properly. But hey if the original ain’t broke, why fix it, right?
PRICKLY PICK #7 – Hot new TV shows for 2016
Looking for new TV shows to watch this year? Well the US TV networks have you covered with the hottest new programming like 24: Legacy, Fuller House,MacGyver, Gilmore Girls and Prison Break – where old favourites are being made new once again!
Ever seen Lethal Weapon, Exorcist, Taken or Rush Hour in the theatres? Now you can look forward to all the inferior adaptations of those movie classics which you have never asked for – on your small screen. Next year, go boldly where no man has ever gone before with new spinoffs and reboots like Star Trek Beyond and Duck Tales.
And don’t worry, there are still plenty of original concepts left on TV in the form of countless superheroes and procedural shows as well as possibly another round of X-Files. The truth about TV is out there and it is not looking good!
PRICKLY PICK #8 – 1000 + people will battle out with ‘glow swords’ at the Make a Wish Foundation fundraiser after a cease and desist order from Lucas Films.
Last month, over a thousand people took part in a massive lightsaber battle at Boston as part of a fundraiser for the Make a Wish Foundation. Except, don’t call them lightsabers, say Lucas Film. And you are not a ‘Jedi’ nor ‘Sith’. Also the Force belongs to us or we will sue you till the ends of the Empire and back.
Use that glow sword, Luke.
PRICKLY PICK #9 – Google has a new idea to make driverless cars safe
Driverless cars are the future but there are still many safety issues to sort out, like what happens if it inconveniently knocks into a pedestrian. The tech giant received a patent recently for human flypaper would stick pedestrian to self-driving car after collision. That’s right, Google wants pedestrians hit by driverless cars to stick around… literally. We can think of one more use for this wacky safety feature, like curing road rage for instance. Are you the driver who is irritated by pedestrians whose eyes are glued to their smart phones while crossing the streets? Now you can safely mow these zombie phone users down with your car and they still can’t peel themselves off their phone – or your car.
PRICKLY PICK #10 – Teen puts glasses on floor and people mistake them for art.
A teen prankster caused quite the spectacle at theSan Francisco Museum of Modern Art when he put a pair of glasses on the floor. People actually thought it was modern art and gathered around to admire it. Yes, that art form which museum janitors seemed to mistake the work for trash and then accidentally throw it away at a regular basis. Modern art is the next big clever idea that you claimed that you could have come up with but too bad you didn’t and someone just beat you to it.
