Today on Facebook, on a networking page for comedians, someone posted that he had just experienced his first truly awful gig. ‘EXCRUCIATING’ he called it, with full capital letters. He felt humiliated and embarrassed.
It’s a feeling I know well. The first time it happened, I was trying new material, my set started with a Mary Poppins song and ended with me wearing a tampon round my neck. The audience were ALL male, apart from one very bored woman who spent the whole five minutes looking at her phone. I got nothing, for the whole five minutes. Not a guffaw, not a titter, not even a snigger. The second time, a very drunk man sat at the bar and shouted ‘I’ve got a boner!’ during my set. I didn’t rise to the bait (geddit?)
But what was fascinating today on Facebook was the response from other comics. There was a complete line in the sand between the way women and men reacted. So far about 40 folk have replied, all of them supportive. The men have been tough and hilarious, the women have been warm and, dare I say, maternal.
‘Get over it’, ‘Just keep going’, ‘Just power through’ ‘Fuck ‘em!’ yelled the men, while we women cooed and smoothed and looked for the positive: ‘Eek, poor you’, ‘Well done on surviving!’ and the suggestion to ‘write an appreciative email to someone you admire’ to make him feel better.
This didn’t make me think ‘aren’t men awful, and aren’t women great’. It just made me stop. And notice. And think:
Isn’t it wonderful that there are men in this industry who will jolly each other along, empower each other and stand shoulder to shoulder when someone is down?
And isn’t it wonderful that there are women in this industry who will comfort and calm and validate the one who’s struggling?
Isn’t it wonderful that this comedian can have ALL of that support, so he can laugh and cry, dust himself off and get ready for his next performance?
And wouldn’t comedy be a whole lot worse if it had no men in it. No men at all. Can you imagine?
