It’s fair to say I don’t get out much.
Well, I do, if you count playground trips in a cardigan held together almost entirely with Weetabix… Or the nursery run which I perform in sunglasses and a pair of leggings which I’m fairly sure have fused with all/part of my leg hair/labia…. But still. Hardly events to write home about.
But on Friday 20th June that all changed.
I picked the last few Cheerios out of my fringe, (I say fringe – it’s just a tuft that doesn’t fit in my ponytail) thrust the toddler at her father, and for once spent some time making myself look socially acceptable. Mascara and everything. Yes. This was serious. Not a pair of crispy leggings in sight…
The Brilliance in Blogging Awards (BiBs) is not only a chance for over 700 mums and dads to indulge in an evening of slightly inappropriate hugging due to excessive amounts of free wine, but also truly represents some of best UK based blogging talent out there. So how the f@*k I ended up in the mix I’ll never know but I took it as a HUGE compliment. And blubbed like a complete twat as I heard my name read out as the winner of the BiBs 2014 Laugh winner. I don’t even know how I made it to the stage as both my legs and pelvic floor began to fail me. Again.
I’ve spent my two years writing an online diary which revolves mostly around slagging off motherhood, talking about my wonky vagina and saying f@*k a lot. And I love it. And it would appear so do a lot of others.
I’m so thankful for having a husband who hasn’t yet left me due to neglect, a child who’s not old enough to read or mummy-divorce me, and a fantastic network of friends, bloggers and readers who support my potty-mouthed ranting.
So thank you. Thank you for making me an award-winning funny lady.
It makes it all worth it.
Even the botched vagina.
Helen Wallen AKA WallyMummy: writer, toddler-survivor and blogger at JustaNormalMummy.blogspot.co.uk and this year’s #BiBs2014 ‘Laugh’ Winner
Pictured: From L to R – Britmums Co-Founders Jennifer Howze & Susanna Scott, Helen Wallen, Katy Hill. Photo credit – Ben Wood/Britmums.
"Ignore my horrific face in this photo. I don’t normally look like I’m having a fit – I was still in shock! And suddenly having a crisis of confidence about how many orange palm trees is too many when clothing yourself…"
