"When George Osborne told David Cameron he was reducing tax for Bingo, Dave assumed he was talking about an old school chum."
This joke, doing the rounds at Westminster, was the greatest thing to come out of last week’s budget. The Conservatives rather shamelessly waved cash in the direction of traditional tory voters who might be thinking of turning to Ukip. Meanwhile to appease the ‘hardworking people’ aka ‘working class’ aka ‘poor people’ aka ‘staff’, they tossed out a duty cut in beer and a reduction in tax on bingo.
Labour seemed incapable of putting the boot into government, so they decided to do it for themselves. Cue Conservative chairman Grant Shapps, who tweeted a poster saying ‘Cutting the beer tax and bingo duty – to help hardworking people do more of the things they enjoy’. Twitter was quick to respond and #torybingo started trending. 77 – Let’s frack Devon, Closed your local A&E? Number 23, Bank off-shore? No. 44. And so on.
Yes, the ad was horrendously patronising and elitist, but at least it’s honest. That’s what ‘they’ (Conservatives) think of ‘us’ (hardworking people). There’s nothing worse than rich Tories pretending that they’re just like us.
Remember the picture George Osborne tweeted of himself having a take away burger in his office? Except it turned out the burger was posher than a skiing holiday with Lady Penelope.
David Cameron tried to improve his everymen credentials in an interview with James Corden in The Sun. But chatting with Smithy about football doesn’t change the fact that you don’t know the price of a loaf of bread. (He makes his own which, like Cameron, is both very posh and a massive waste of time.)
Expect pictures of senior cabinet members drinking beer and playing bingo very soon. "Oh, I play bingo all the time" says George Osborne, "Until I’m too drunk to see the numbers from all the beer I’m drinking."
"I’ve been playing bingo for years" says David Cameron. "I’ve got one of those massive pens and everything. I love beer too, I make it at home, because despite being Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, I have plenty of time to make my own beer, bread, play bingo and generally keep my shit real. I really like football too, and Red Bull, hey let’s all go to Greggs."
As the late, great Tony Benn proved, being posh doesn’t make you a bad person. If you don’t want people to think you are over-privileged and self-serving, then don’t behave like it. In Benn’s diaries, he describes receiving a standing ovation at the Labour conference, an emotional and poignant moment. He ends, "We went back to the flat and had beans." Now that’s class.
Jenny Laville, you can follow Jenny on Twitter @jennylaville or read more of her writing at www.jennylaville.wordpress.com
