Going to my first ever Women in Football event was always going to be a little bit scary. Much as I tried, I couldn’t quite shake that first-day-of-school feeling. Will the other kids like me? Will I have to eat my lunch (read: drink my glass of bubbly) on my own? Good thing, then, that this particular evening was a themed event all about exploring confidence and courage.
It did not get off to a great start, however, as most of us opted to sit at the back of the room. The first few rows were as sparsely populated as a Paolo Di Canio seminar on diplomacy and conflict resolution. Lynne Parker, the founder of Funny Women who was in charge of the opening workshop portion of the evening, immediately moved us all forward, declaring "women always sit in the wrong places." She went on to explain how in meetings, women rarely claim the seat at the head of the table, but rather shuffle in at the back and end up making the tea. I imagine that hit home with more than one person in the room.
Going on as she started, Lynne made us pair up with someone we didn’t know. Cue immediate, paralysing sense of dread. Luckily, I did not have to look for long, as I quickly joined forces with a lovely Geordie woman with an amazing bob, whose name I embarrassingly I forgot to ask for. Onto the task at hand: Lynne wanted us to tell our partner something we usually wouldn’t say in this sort of situation.
Minutes later came the inevitable share-with-the-group moment, as Lynne dragged three pairs to the front of the room to tell each other’s stories, in character. What soon became clear was that very few people had actually followed the brief. Many of us – myself included – stuck to stories of a more professional variety. One brave woman, however, did share the brilliant tale of the 6-month period when she was a child when she refused to be called by her real name. Considering how well that was received, maybe we should all consider not resorting to bland, safe chats about commutes and the weather?
Next, another group were dragged up and told to describe each other based on first impressions alone. While this could, in theory, have ended badly, it turned out to be a rather heart-warming affair. While Lynne did have to remind people to stick to first impressions only, everyone was incredibly complimentary to each other. Certainly something to remember the next time you’re worrying yourself sick about what strangers will think about you, be that in a professional or personal setting.
But the main thought that stuck with me was ‘these women are bloody hilarious.’ I don’t think I was the only person laughing my way through the evening. At one point Lynne shared her theory about how women are funny in a different way from men, how we make each other crack up in more familiar settings, like a night out with the girls. We must’ve been very comfortable indeed at this event, because the jokes were coming thick and fast.
On the one hand, I think that shows how groups like Women In Football play an important role in providing a space for women to speak frankly, without being concerned about what the lads will think. But, importantly, it also shows that you can be funny – and confident – in a room full of what were for many total strangers. Why, then, shouldn’t we be as courageous when we leave the room? So, next time I meet someone new, maybe I’ll drop the job title, and instead tell them about the time I got lost walking between two blocks in my college at uni…
Milana Knez
